So, then what are the tattle tell signs that a man might be a user? Let say you see a man that you like enough to meet and after having an in depth conversation with your friends about him, you are then alone with your thoughts. You might be thinking something like this: I know that he cares for me because he sends cards and flowers. He makes me feel so special when I’m talking to him. He opens up and expresses what he’s feeling about me. He calls me at least five times a day. He does all the little things that I like that makes me feel like I’m the love of his life. He is concerned about what matters to me and he shows me by being there for me. He even likes my kids.
Everything about him measures up to what you like and hoped to have in your life. You feel that his character is top notch and his actions prove this. Do you really think a man’s actions should be the indicator of his feelings or intentions? I understand that women think actions are a great indicator but from a man’s point of view actions alone are not the best indicator of his true intent. In addition to his actions you should be sure to listen closely to what he says to you. Scrutinize his words just as much as you scrutinize his actions. If you find that his words and actions are in opposition that’s a warning sign that all is not well. It also lets you know that he’s trying to add you to his user’s list.
The users words and actions might be something like this:
• He talks more than he puts out. He speaks as if the two of you are in a committed and loving relationship, but when the time comes for him to contribute to the relationship in worthy ways, he can never be found.
• He available on the phone, but when you’re with him he never has much of anything to say.
• He might be the kind of guy that calls you every day – five times a day, he takes you to wonderful dinners, movies, get together with his family and friends and you find yourself being totally committed to him. The problem is you can’t seem to get him to commit.
• He tells you that things are moving too fast for him and he wants to take some time before he commits to any relationship.
• He talks just as much as he is action. He shares his desires, dreams, goals and needs with you and makes the time you spend with him is treated very special. He likes to call it ‘quality time’, but he never mentions you as a part of his desires, dreams, goals and needs. He actually leaves you out when he’s planning his life.
• He doesn’t like to plan ahead. If you say lets plan on being together on Saturday, he’ll probably say… “Let me get back with you, my schedule is full, or I have to work or …etc.
Users usually behave in one of these ways. If he has two or more of these qualities you really need to be careful before moving forward with him. You’ll only get hurt in the end.
Remember that a man will always include you in future plans if he wants you to become a part of his future. Because men have secrets that they never reveal, it would of great benefit to you if you continue to read on.